More than Adrift

Yesterday, my 11 year old shared with me some new phrases going around school, peers insulting kids by saying they're a "try hard" or calling them sweaty when they do something well (sweaty from working so hard.) This year, being his first year in public school, Drew didn't realize that being good at math is something that other kids would mock. At home, we sometimes reward the kids when they hit certain education goals at school but mostly, we expect them to do their best at everything, and do well because we know they are capable of doing well. When I see Drew at basketball practice, he might not make every (*cough* any) layup, but we expect that when his coach says to run, he's running his hardest. I see this aversion to trying hard play out among his peers in every aspect of these kids' lives. There is one boy in Drew's grade that is just exceptionally talented in basketball. And his peers make fun of him for being good and refuse to play...

365 days ago, Caleb walked out of Louisville with a 1st place Showmanship ribbon in his hands and a smile the size of Texas. Since that day, he has had his heart set on winning showmanship at NAILE again. Before show season even started, he hand picked the most docile lamb in our pens and named her. He worked all summer with Sophia. With the thousands of inches of rain this summer, when most eight year old kids were in front of a screen, he was in the barn in front of a mirror with Sophia. When it was 98 degrees, and other kids were at the pool, he was outside with Sophia. Mid October, when it was freezing, he was bundled up with Sophia, practicing getting her legs set just right. If there is a kid that worked for that win this year, it's him. After all of those months of dedication, he was so excited when it was finally show time last weekend, no one more confident than him. When he came out of that ring, with a third place ribbon in his han...

The end of football season marks the beginning of wrestling & basketball season at our house. And the end of wrestling and basketball is quickly followed by the beginning of baseball season. Throw some intense competitive sheep shows throughout the summer and fall in there, and you have a pretty clear picture of how competitive our house can feel. There are things that I really love about having two boys who view themselves as athletes. They have a healthy outlet for their aggression towards each other. They learn physical control of their bodies. They learn what it looks like to lose and win well. They learn that a bad attitude towards their coaches means a loss of playing time. They learn how to be a part of a team, and that one person, regardless of talent, cannot make for a winning season. At least, that's what they should be learning by playing sports. These are the lessons that are worth the money, time, and energy spent on any endeavor. Lessons that transcend ...

A few months ago, I enrolled my two oldest kids in a recreation department track program. It was the first thing that Kait & Drew have been enrolled in together. Their interests and abilities are SO different that it's simply never come up before. They've never attended school, a sports practice, or even a friend's birthday party together. At the first practice, as I often have to do with my daughter, I walked her through what the program would look like along with what my expectations were, as Drew ran off to join his friends. She loves to run, and although she has Down syndrome, I was fairly confident that she would be able to do well in track without any assistance. Fifteen minutes later, they were learning to hand off the baton for relay races, and she was sitting down in the middle of the track refusing to hand over the baton. Angry because the kid in front of her kept running away when she tried to get close to him and hand the baton off......

  "Do not be anxious about anything" Philippians 4:6-7 This past week, Reid took a work trip to Europe. Before he left, I KNEW it was going to be awful. No one wants to be left on a farm, with three children and a flock of sheep to take care of right before lambing season starts. THE day after he left, not even 24 hours later, C and I were both laid up on the couch with a fever. And when I finally dragged myself out to the barn to do chores, I found that a hose had been left on and flooded the barn with at least an inch of water and muck. A ewe had lambed two weeks early, and her lamb was dead in the pen. And our favorite new kitten was dead. I cannot make this up. If you live on a farm, have livestock, have children, or God help you, ALL of these things, then you are well versed in Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. On a farm and in parenting, there is no shortage of things that can wrong! Someone is mean to your baby on the playground. A chi...

I have been staring at a blank page for hours today. Willing myself to just start. Just to write something. 12 years ago, I thought I was living in the middle of a plotline that seemed already written. I had an acceptance letter from the University of Michigan law school hanging on my apartment fridge, finishing up college at MSU. But then when K was born, I deferred acceptance to law school for a short 12 months. A year after that, Drew was born, my husband had received a great job offer in Madison, and my dreams felt as out of reach as another planet. We were writing an entirely new book.   There’s an old story about a pilot who came over the intercom and said, “Good news, ladies and gentlemen: We’ve got a very strong tailwind and are making excellent time. The bad news is that our navigation equipment has gone down, so we have no idea where we are.” I do not regret the decision to give up law school. I will never have a second chance to be a pa...

I pour a LOT into my 3 kids. I am certainly not the perfect mom, but I do my very best, which some days is just below average.....but on all of the days, my love for them is unbelievable to me. What Reid and I both would and have sacrificed for their well being is incomparable to any other relationship in our lives. And we do all of that knowing that they will leave this home. Not that far into the future. They will choose someone else to share a life with, and we won't be the central part of that story anymore. Being a mom defines most of my life right now. And one day, probably way too soon for my liking, I will be a mother in law . This single thought actually terrifies me. Why is that?! Why are there so many horrifying in law stories?! Why is it SO hard to get along with our spouse's families? And how hard should we really try to? I hear a lot of stories about toxic dependence on parents. And stories of unhea...