When the Lamb is Dead, and the Barn is Flooded
"Do not be anxious about anything" Philippians 4:6-7
This past week, Reid took a work trip to Europe. Before he left, I KNEW it was going to be awful. No one wants to be left on a farm, with three children and a flock of sheep to take care of right before lambing season starts. THE day after he left, not even 24 hours later, C and I were both laid up on the couch with a fever. And when I finally dragged myself out to the barn to do chores, I found that a hose had been left on and flooded the barn with at least an inch of water and muck. A ewe had lambed two weeks early, and her lamb was dead in the pen. And our favorite new kitten was dead. I cannot make this up.
If you live on a farm, have livestock, have children, or God help you, ALL of these things, then you are well versed in Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. On a farm and in parenting, there is no shortage of things that can wrong! Someone is mean to your baby on the playground. A child gets sick. A tractor breaks down in the field during harvest. Your best calf dies. Your barn floods. And the worry about when and how these things will go wrong can consume us. And we do our best to hold tight to that worry, hoping that somehow we will find a way to ward off the bad stuff.
There is a prayer that I learned when I was little, Thy Will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.... and whenever I find myself repeating those words, my heart beats a little faster, and I struggle to really mean the words that I'm saying aloud. Am I willing to submit myself to His Will? I worry that God may require something of me that I'm not ready to give Him. What if He desires to strengthen my faith through hardship? What if letting go of control actually causes the thing I fear to happen.... Laying down control is a scary thing.
And yet, after years of anxious thoughts and feelings. Dozens of hours of conversations with my best friends, I am fully convinced that surrendering to God has to happen before you find any peace. There is a point at which you realize that you are not in control. Whether you choose to submit to God's will or not, things are going to happen to you. Good things. Bad things. And for the most part, you are NOT actually in control of either one.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
The author isn't responding to the church's anxiety by reassuring them that bad things won't happen to them! He isn't demanding that they suck it up, toughen up. He urges them to pray. Because when we pray, we are reminded of the Truth. That we were never in control in the first place. We are reminded that finding and having peace is not circumstantial.
The love of your life might get a diagnosis that changes your life. Your child might get sick. He probably will get pushed down on the playground. But whether we let go of the anxiety or hold tightly to it, these things can happen. Whether we feel like we are in control or powerless, these things can happen.
The antidote for anxiety is not holding tight in an attempt to control your circumstances. And feeling like you are in control is not an antidote for bad things happening to us and those we love.
Choosing to submit to God, to His Will, and letting go of the anxiety is a choice that we have to make every day, to lay it all at God's feet, over and over. We come to Him so that God can remind us that He is Good. To be reminded that we can trust that He works through all of the things. The hard, the messy, the ugly.
He is there with us, loving us, working it out for our good, even when the lamb is dead, the barn is flooded, and you have to clean up the mess.
This past week, Reid took a work trip to Europe. Before he left, I KNEW it was going to be awful. No one wants to be left on a farm, with three children and a flock of sheep to take care of right before lambing season starts. THE day after he left, not even 24 hours later, C and I were both laid up on the couch with a fever. And when I finally dragged myself out to the barn to do chores, I found that a hose had been left on and flooded the barn with at least an inch of water and muck. A ewe had lambed two weeks early, and her lamb was dead in the pen. And our favorite new kitten was dead. I cannot make this up.
If you live on a farm, have livestock, have children, or God help you, ALL of these things, then you are well versed in Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. On a farm and in parenting, there is no shortage of things that can wrong! Someone is mean to your baby on the playground. A child gets sick. A tractor breaks down in the field during harvest. Your best calf dies. Your barn floods. And the worry about when and how these things will go wrong can consume us. And we do our best to hold tight to that worry, hoping that somehow we will find a way to ward off the bad stuff.
There is a prayer that I learned when I was little, Thy Will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.... and whenever I find myself repeating those words, my heart beats a little faster, and I struggle to really mean the words that I'm saying aloud. Am I willing to submit myself to His Will? I worry that God may require something of me that I'm not ready to give Him. What if He desires to strengthen my faith through hardship? What if letting go of control actually causes the thing I fear to happen.... Laying down control is a scary thing.
And yet, after years of anxious thoughts and feelings. Dozens of hours of conversations with my best friends, I am fully convinced that surrendering to God has to happen before you find any peace. There is a point at which you realize that you are not in control. Whether you choose to submit to God's will or not, things are going to happen to you. Good things. Bad things. And for the most part, you are NOT actually in control of either one.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
The author isn't responding to the church's anxiety by reassuring them that bad things won't happen to them! He isn't demanding that they suck it up, toughen up. He urges them to pray. Because when we pray, we are reminded of the Truth. That we were never in control in the first place. We are reminded that finding and having peace is not circumstantial.
The love of your life might get a diagnosis that changes your life. Your child might get sick. He probably will get pushed down on the playground. But whether we let go of the anxiety or hold tightly to it, these things can happen. Whether we feel like we are in control or powerless, these things can happen.
The antidote for anxiety is not holding tight in an attempt to control your circumstances. And feeling like you are in control is not an antidote for bad things happening to us and those we love.
Choosing to submit to God, to His Will, and letting go of the anxiety is a choice that we have to make every day, to lay it all at God's feet, over and over. We come to Him so that God can remind us that He is Good. To be reminded that we can trust that He works through all of the things. The hard, the messy, the ugly.
He is there with us, loving us, working it out for our good, even when the lamb is dead, the barn is flooded, and you have to clean up the mess.
Oh how true this is. Love your post.There is never a dull moment when you farm. It is true you do find peace when you finally give it all to God to control, very hard and scary, but amazing when you do let go.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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