I think I've alluded to my tendency to quit things before in other posts, but this week has really been a convicting week for me in this area.
I am the Queen of Planning and Big Ideas (really, I am! Ask my husband!) I love to plan things. I plan small things like our daily chores, I plan the big things, Summer Vacations, Curriculum for this coming year with D & K, etc, etc...... the problem is, I hardly ever, ever finish anything I start.
This week my Big Plan was to (on top of turning the computer off during kids' awake times) make myself more productive during the day. I would begin each morning by waking up, showering, getting dressed, wearing shoes. Either you are thinking it sounds silly (like I did) or you're thinking, you don't get dressed or shower in the morning?! (no I don't usually...)
I loved it! I do feel more productive. I feel more in control of the day. I have 15 minute "cleaning frenzy" times throughout the day. Usually once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and then focus on the kids/meals the rest of the day. It makes the day go by much quicker, the kids are happy, Gibbs is happy when he comes home and sees a clean something (yesterday was the van, today was the bathroom)
But, this afternoon, just as things are feeling pretty comfortable in this routine....I slipped off my shoes. It seems insignificant. But then I thought.... pajama pants sound pretty nice to scrub the bathroom floor. Off came the jeans. I can tell what's happening, it's happened 5000 times before. The routine is slipping away from me before it even becomes a routine. I'm almost powerless to stop it.
The only thing stopping me from quitting is my children's ever watching eyes. They know of my plan, and if they see me quit... well, I fear that I will turn them into Quitters. I love quitting things. There's a sense of freedom in quitting. Sometimes the plans that I make, that I want to make, end up making me feel trapped and quitting is a really great feeling! Doesn't that sound terrible? How very very sad I would be if I raise three children to be Quitters!
So, tomorrow, I will wake up (hopefully...) shower, get dressed in real person clothing, and put on my shoes. I will not quit this. Not yet anyways.
Galations 6:9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up
Though in the book of Galations, the author is speaking specifically regarding good works for Christ, I think my "works" at home are for God's Glory. At least I hope that is what is being reflected in my work at home. My husband and my children profit by my perserverence, by a good attitude when doing necessary tasks that God has given me here.
Galations 6:4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done