Friday, May 6, 2011

Calming Down

This week has been a stressful week for me. I've been feeling anxious, and no one in the house has been on their best behavior (perhaps me included)

These days/weeks happen, and I know better than to get down on myself for them. But, I am a classic overthinker, and realized that the last time I felt like this was when I was househunting (as I am doing now!)

The whole process of making a big decision gives me terrible anxiety. I worry mostly about the kids. How will the decision affect the kids? Will they be happy in a new home? Will they be happier in "X" district, or "Y" school district. Should we live in a suburb, or on a few acres.  The list is endless in my mind.

After asking a friend for prayer about my stressful week, she gave me some rather insightful advice. She said that she prayed that God would show me how not-a-big-deal the decisions I am making really are.

As I read through Ephesians, Chapter 3's fervent prayer from Paul stood out to me. He prays for us that we would have inner strength through God, the power to understand how deep, high, long, wide Christ's love for us is, that we would experience the love of Christ.

It struck me how sad it is that I can focus so long on the importance of the small decisions in my life, but I don't invest half of that energy studying and realizing the ability of God to work in our lives regardless of which house I buy, which school district we end up in, whether an island gives us the extra counter space we need...

God loves me. He loves my children and cares about them more than I could, which is hard for me to imagine. He has told me plainly that if I seek Him first, all other things will be added to me, shelter, food, clothing....  He is someone to be trusted. There is no reason to be anxious.

This isn't to say that I don't have to do anything, that I can just sit here and not worry about making any decisions at all. But I can trust that God will open doors where they need to be opened, close the doors that I shouldn't walk through, and give me His peace throughout the process.

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