Thursday, March 24, 2011

It's Not Fair

What can I write about the fairness of life that you and I both don't already know? Nothing. But reading my kids' It's Not Fair book last night has inspired me to review it anyways...and I hope it can be a good reminder for me in the weeks to come.

Having a child born with Down Syndrome, I'm no stranger to the "It's No Fair" whine, and if it weren't so exhausting, depressing, and discouraging, it would be amusing to me that even at 27 years of age, I still have the tendency to complain to God that things in my life aren't what I thought they'd be.
So, I thought I'd do a quick mental review of history:

Eve: But it's Not Fair! I want the tree in the MIDDLE of the garden!
God: (my own thoughts on what he was thinking)  Where did you learn that word from? I certainly didn't plant it there in your heart

Israelites (as related in Numbers 11) : But this isn't fair! This is too hard! We want real food, not this manna!
God: Really? REALLY? Do you not remember how much I've given you?

D: But this isn't fair! K's ice cream is bigger than mine!
Me: Where did you learn that word from?? Be grateful for what you have!

Me: But this isn't fair!! I didn't ask for this!
God: Do you not remember how much I've given you? Be grateful for what you have.

Some things just don't change. Sin, the world, greed, anger, self-pity.... They are as old as time. And yet, without saying the words out loud, I can feel that my heart still harbors these feelings. I still find myself giving in to self pity at times (too many times)  And there's nothing that speaks to an ungrateful heart than the words "It's Not Fair"

How much more has God given me than what I've deserved? If He were to give me all I had earned, it would be an awfully short, worthless life I'd be leading. I can't imagine how it would feel to give up my only Son. Even worse to imagine, to have the gift be rendered insignificant by constant complaining and whining by those it saves.

Maybe life isn't fair. I'm sure if I wanted to dwell on it, I could come up with a list of complaints, grumbles, ways that my life could seem "better"      Or.... I could come up with a list of ways that God has blessed me. Things he has given me that I haven't earned. Salvation, Grace, Love, a wonderful steady husband who loves me despite my whiny childlike behavior, three children who, despite my shortcomings, are growing, living and learning about a God who gives more than we deserve.

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