More than Adrift

  "Do not be anxious about anything" Philippians 4:6-7 This past week, Reid took a work trip to Europe. Before he left, I KNEW it was going to be awful. No one wants to be left on a farm, with three children and a flock of sheep to take care of right before lambing season starts. THE day after he left, not even 24 hours later, C and I were both laid up on the couch with a fever. And when I finally dragged myself out to the barn to do chores, I found that a hose had been left on and flooded the barn with at least an inch of water and muck. A ewe had lambed two weeks early, and her lamb was dead in the pen. And our favorite new kitten was dead. I cannot make this up. If you live on a farm, have livestock, have children, or God help you, ALL of these things, then you are well versed in Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. On a farm and in parenting, there is no shortage of things that can wrong! Someone is mean to your baby on the playground. A chi...

I have been staring at a blank page for hours today. Willing myself to just start. Just to write something. 12 years ago, I thought I was living in the middle of a plotline that seemed already written. I had an acceptance letter from the University of Michigan law school hanging on my apartment fridge, finishing up college at MSU. But then when K was born, I deferred acceptance to law school for a short 12 months. A year after that, Drew was born, my husband had received a great job offer in Madison, and my dreams felt as out of reach as another planet. We were writing an entirely new book.   There’s an old story about a pilot who came over the intercom and said, “Good news, ladies and gentlemen: We’ve got a very strong tailwind and are making excellent time. The bad news is that our navigation equipment has gone down, so we have no idea where we are.” I do not regret the decision to give up law school. I will never have a second chance to be a pa...

I pour a LOT into my 3 kids. I am certainly not the perfect mom, but I do my very best, which some days is just below average.....but on all of the days, my love for them is unbelievable to me. What Reid and I both would and have sacrificed for their well being is incomparable to any other relationship in our lives. And we do all of that knowing that they will leave this home. Not that far into the future. They will choose someone else to share a life with, and we won't be the central part of that story anymore. Being a mom defines most of my life right now. And one day, probably way too soon for my liking, I will be a mother in law . This single thought actually terrifies me. Why is that?! Why are there so many horrifying in law stories?! Why is it SO hard to get along with our spouse's families? And how hard should we really try to? I hear a lot of stories about toxic dependence on parents. And stories of unhea...

5 years ago, my husband and I felt God leading us towards homeschooling with my oldest son. During this time, the reluctance turned into a passion. I LOVE being around my kids. I LOVE seeing their eyes light up when they learn something new. I really have felt like we are doing the best thing for the two boys (Why the heck else would I do this?!) And here the trouble begins brewing....whenever we become passionate about something, a bizarre thing bubbles up inside of us. The passion for anything has the capacity to become a disdain for  everything that seems to threaten it. . Once I really started taking notice, I saw it in all sorts of spheres that we are involved in. In Livestock- Most of us are doing things to the very best of our ability. We are spending a tremendous amount of money and time on these animals, but the passion ends up dividing us against people who do things differently.  Commercial breeders vs. Show ...

Is there anything that feels more leisurely than a tropical island vacation? Nothing can compare to it. The entire atmosphere of the island is carefully constructed with one purpose in mind. The ocean breeze seems to whisper "you worked so hard to get here, you earned this" as you sip on a perfectly made Mai Tai and listen to the strumming on a ukulele and the musician softly singing a Hawaiian version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. While we were those people on that vacation, we attended a time share presentation. Yes, yes, I know. Never attend those! Though we firmly said no multiple times, the presentation continued until, finally, the salesman pulls out his trump card. "But, you guys have three kids, and run a farm, and work, you truly deserve a vacation. You must believe that." Now it is no secret that I do not always love living on a farm. I grew up attending private school, vacationing, and spending my weekends on my dad's yacht. So far...

Recently, my 9 year old son earned first place in showmanship at our county fair. This is remarkable if you know my son because he does not come by this naturally. He has a hard time with competition, and to be honest, his very spirit seems to rebel against the idea of hard work. This win did not come easy for him. He has worked for two and a half years learning what showmanship is all about. He has lost, and I mean REALLY lost, many showmanship classes. He has been in tears after a show. He has yelled at us when we offer advice. He has attended workshops. He has watched youtube videos. He has spent his summer mornings out in the show barn while other kids his age are watching cartoons. And after he won, a fellow 4H leader made the comment to me that “It isn’t really fair when kids who show in all of these other sheep shows around the country come to these county fairs and win, when the other kids are just learning.” I’m sorry… what? I didn’t reply in that moment, not out ...

Saturday morning, at 6am, right before heading off to the state fair, Reid and I had the chance to catch a cup of coffee, alone! Did I mention that we had no kids with us while drinking our cup of coffee?? It was a miracle. And as anyone with little kids know, when they are around you have to watch every single word you say. A carelessly spoken word about someone gets repeated at an inopportune moment. A slip of the tongue, and soon your 6 year old is saying "That's total crap!" at anyone within 50 feet. So while we were alone for this cup of coffee, I really took off the filter. "Why don't we just quit showing sheep? This is total insanity. We can't win against people that have been raising sheep for 40 years! Think of how much money it will take to ever really be an established breeder! I think we should get out now." (Yes, this is an embarassing look into the mind of someone who has quit every hard thing that has ever come my way.) Unfo...