A Fairy Tale Kind of Life

We walk into a crowded room, Kait’s still too small arm wrapped around Josh. She’s waited for weeks for the Badger Ball; an annual formal event that the Wisconsin Badger Athletics department hosts for Special Olympic athletes in Wisconsin. There is loud music, unabashed dancing, sugary food and real friends, all that Kait could ask for.

                Every year, I reflect on the changes in my life, in her life especially…. My first born, the child who came and made me a mama before I was ready, who knit Reid and I together as a family. It wasn’t even two hours after she was born, my brain and body still slow from the medicine and the labor, that I first heard Down syndrome, that the words mental retardation were used, the first time I saw the doctor look at me with pity, for her, for us. Within twenty four hours, before I knew how to nurse a child, I had books in my hand about raising a child with Down syndrome, a poem entitled “Welcome to Holland” and a folder with a small blonde girl, with almond shaped eyes and a tiny little nose, on the cover.

                The next 5 years were spend obsessing over every benchmark, every milestone, pushing her to take her first step, her first word, string together her first sentence. Celebrating the smallest achievements, holding her own bottle up, scooting forward on her bottom for the first time, that went unnoticed in her brothers lives born just a few years after her. There were a lot of evenings spent in tears throughout the first decade…. The first time she didn’t get invited to a classmate’s birthday party, the first time she was made fun of, the first time one of my boys told me they sometimes get embarrassed of her.

                I have spent a lot of moments pushing, grieving, managing, worrying. But this moment reminds me that she has everything she needs, that she wants. She has friends, she is loved, she exudes joy, and more happiness than almost any teenager that I have ever met.

                On the way home from the Badger Ball, I looked over at my smiling, spitfire, exhausted red-headed 13 year old daughter and she turns to me and says “Mom- my life is a fairy tale.”

My sweet girl. She is only 13, and already had to overcome more obstacles than I have in my entire life. But she is able to do something that I am still praying for the maturity to accomplish; she is able to look beyond what's lacking and appreciate what is right in front of her. I have wasted a lot of time thinking that I would find joy once this or that happened, if only I could accomplish one more thing, make one more person like me. It has shown me that I truly want nothing more for any of my kids than for each one to be able to find joy and contentment in all circumstances that life will bring to them.

There will be moments yet to come that Kait experiences heartache, rejection, and sorrow, but for tonight, she is a 13 year old young woman who is living a fairy tale.

Praying that all of our kids fairy tales can make room for unexpected blessings.

                “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him.”

x